Perhaps Alexander's Day Would Have Been Better Had He Simply Put in His Contacts.

Today is a no contacts day. If you find me at school with my glasses on, just stay away. You see, I really like my contacts. I hate staring at rims all day and having my vision skewed because I've smeared the glass in front of my face with my fingers. Sometimes I even smack my glasses on door frames because I only give the part of my face that's chemically connected to my body doorway clearance. It hurts your nose really bad when your frames smash up against the side of them. Besides the fact that I look silly in them, the prescription is terribly old and everything is still really blurry when I wear them. It's like watching ESPN in HD and then going back to just plain old channel 8. And since I don't have HD, I need all the help that I can get. The point is, I avoid wearing my glasses at all costs. So naturally, if I show up to work wearing my glasses, something must be wrong. Either I've dropped a contact down the sink and haven't been able to scrounge up enough change for new ones, or it's one of those mornings that I've stayed up far too late, my alarm awakens me from a brief coma and I'm saddened to find that my eyes are almost completely glued shut. This is confirmed when I jump down from my bunk bed and run into a wall because I didn't notice it was there. It is at these times that I stumble into my bathroom, feel around for the contact case and realize that there is no way I'm going to be able to get my extra eyeballs in. I've already given up on the day before it starts. A no contact day says three things. 1) The world around me is just not worth looking at today. 2) There is at least one bruise on my shin. 3) Forget the mascara. Fortunately, no contact days can usually be cured by crawling onto the couch with a fuzzy blanket and a cup of coffee and watching a couple episodes of Cheers. This is what I plan to do when I get home today. Happy Friday, everyone. May you find the strength to pop in your contacts.