Tis A Far, Far Better Thing Than I Have Ever Done In English Class

I am reading a Tale of Two Cities again. This is for Two Reasons. One, because I remember I liked the book, and two, because all I remember of the book is what I learned on Wishbone. Granted, I read and analyzed the book in ninth grade, but somehow all that stuck with me were images of two Wishbones, one Sydney and the other Charles. Funny how watching Wishbone on PBS taught me more about literature than all my English classes combined. It taught me the basic plotlines of all the “famous” books that you need to know, kept me entertained at 3:30 on weekday afternoons and saved me time and energy that I would have wasted on English homework character analyses. All that had to be looked up was the physical descriptions. (Describing Odysseus as brown and furry might have been looked over, but describing Sherlock Holmes as such probably would have resulted in a bad grade as well as a very perplexed teacher.)

Wishbone as Beowulf
Wishbone as Ivanhoe

Speaking of dogs, I went jogging today and I am becoming quite annoyed at being growled at, barked at and chased by dogs in my neighborhood. Don’t people believe in fences anymore? Granted, I am a person who lets her dog occasionally wander free around the front yard, but you must understand that my dog has the energy level of a zucchini. If he ever treated pedestrians like tennis balls fried in bacon grease he would never leave his leash again. I’m thinking about getting a big can of pepper spray and taking out everything in a 20 foot radius that so much as shows a tooth to me. That’d put a stop to this nonsense, and maybe kill some weeds while I was at it. Heaven knows these people are not shooting for Yard of the Month. I’m just hoping that one day when the satan-possessed terrier on Crowder runs at me paying no heed to the road, the UPS truck will be making a delivery at 45 miles an hour at the exact same time. If the people I volunteered at the animal shelter with ever heard me say that…