air matress + sinkhole + illegal substances = not good

Carli came up this weekend.
And there was much rejoicing.

She is not in Tallahassee very often, so on each visit we try to show her the best Tallahassee has to offer. This weekend it was WalMarts and sinkholes. (And you ask why people want to get out of this town...)

Friday afternoon was all ours, so I took Carli to one of my favorite places in Tallahassee, the Country Dollar. We trekked all the way over to Apalachee Parkway. Too bad Mr. and Mrs. Countrydollar were on vacation. But that's okay because I had Kleenex in the car. (There was much sorrow.) Next on our list was to make sweet bags so we could be like Lori, Jake and Taylor. We went out to the Apalachee Walmart and made our way back to the fabric section. Or what should have been the fabric section. Alas, Walmarts are getting rid of the fabric deparment. Did you know this? You should contact your senators. Just terrible. So then we drove in 5 o'clock traffic to the Tennessee Street Walmart which currently has its fabric department still intact. We lost ourselves in Martha Stewartness for a few hours and I only ironed my arm once. This is a new record. (Say it like the guy on DanceDance Revolution- "Itsa new rec'ad!")

Saturday morning we saddled up and went to Cherokee Sink. There we were greeted by some local Wakullians jumping out of trees and way too many pairs of cut-off jean shorts, but we weren't complaining. The water was nice and cold and I got my couple backflips in off the high dive before necessity drove me away. (One too many offers of "If you drown, I specialize in CPR," from guys with sketchy tattoos.) However, an hour or so later I started smelling this odd smell. It was kinda giving me a headache and Nicole was getting a little giddy...(just kidding, Nicole). This is how it went down.

"Gosh, what is that smell?" -innocent me
"Uh...that's pot." -Carli

Our eyes drifted to the couple of shifty-eyed 14-year old tattooed boys who had somehow thought it a better idea drag their mom's velour-topped air matress out of the closet to throw in the sinkhole rather than buying a dollar raft from Walmart. The smoke drifting up from their matress and their obnoxious giggling gave it away.

Note to the potheads out there- Getting high on illegal substances and then jumping on an air matress while floating to the middle of a 100-foot sinkhole in the middle of Wakulla country is never a good idea.

Alright kids, let's review our lessons for today-

Make a quick phonecall before driving in traffic 45 minutes to jewelry stores.
Never assume that Walmart is going to have what you need.
Winners don't use drugs.

This blog post was brought to you by the letter Z and the number 9.