A B.A. in Elvish Studies????

Selena and I have decided that being an elf would be the perfect job for me. As one nears graduation, it is common to worry about what jobs to look for, where to live, what to do with you life... I have been considering the elvish profession for quite some time, and if anyone is considering it, here are some good reasons it may be the career path for you:

1. Santa is your boss. Except for inherently knowing who has been naughty or nice and seeing when you are asleep or awake, Santa would be the best boss ever. Plus, you would get to make toys all day. It's inevitable that making toys requires testing toys.

2. Elves get to wear pointy shoes. Having spent some time in Europe, I have a strange fascination with pointy shoes. I never got up the nerve to buy any, because I knew I'd laugh every time my eyes wandered to my feet, but I still have a peculiar affection for shoes of the non-rounded variety.





I'm not really sure where your toes are supposed to go in these, but I assume Elf shoes are a bit more comfortable, despite their pointy-ness. Some less-festive elves are shoemakers, so they're probably good at shoemaking.

3. Being an elf comes with a package of instant hobbies. After making Tonka Trucks and Candyland games for your shift, you have a list of awesome choices on how to spend your free time. Buddy's list was, "First we'll make snow angels for two hours, then we'll to go skating, then we'll eat a roll of Tollhouse cookie dough as fast as we can, and then to finish, we'll snuggle!" These are all great hobbies.

4. Singing at all times of the day is not only normal, but encouraged. Everyone knows that Christmas carols are the best songs ever written. Those hymns express things that I just couldn't ever put on paper. We learned from Buddy the Elf that, "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear." I have to agree with him wholeheartedly, but unfortunately for me, singing loud for all to hear is not generally accepted at my workplace. They're on the verge of sending me to the insane asylum anyway. Singing would just add fuel to their fire.



"Looks like somebody needs to sing a Christmas carol."

5. You can leave your Christmas decorations up all year. Have any of you seen that Verizon Wireless commercial that's out right now where the guy is unplugging all of his Christmas lights and he's just so sad? I am that guy (minus the tacky sweater and Buddy Holly glasses).



(This looks like my dad's yearbook picture. )

My father has instilled in me a love for Christmas that borders on obsessive compulsive. I love everything about Christmas. (Except for the Christmas Shoes song. Worst song ever written. That's for a later post.) Nothing can be better than curling up by a fire with the light of the Christmas tree illuminating Jimmy Stewart's face as you listen to him shout, "Merry Christmas, Bedford Falls!" Because of this, December 26th is the saddest day of the year. Fortunately for elves, December 26th is only the start of the next Christmas season so the lights never have to come down and you can celebrate Christmas forever.

Too bad Mr. Stanaland's Santa mailbox isn't up anymore in my parent's neighborhood. I need to send Santa my resume.