Thursday, February 23, 2006

Obey your thirst

It all started because of some really good sweet tea. You see, I drank like three glasses of Mrs. Laura's sweet tea and it occurred to me that I hadn't drank any water that day and I've been trying to drink more water because your body's like 107% water or whatever they tell you and I always forget to drink water during the day. So Mr. Don went to go pick up Melinda and Josh from Bible study, Mrs. Laura went to grab the phone and I was alone with my empty glass and this-

- You know what I'm talking about. It's the refrigerator with the little "CRUSHED,CUBED,WATER" buttons. Naturally, I picked myself up from my chair and put my glass under the WATER button, seeing this as a perfectly good opportunity to hydrate myself and heed to the wise words of that little Sprite guy with the giant afro, "Obey your thirst."
There was only one problem with my plan. The refrigerator must have thought I was really thirsty because my cup was full and there was still water pouring into it. There was water pouring into my cup, down my arm, and right onto the floor. I had long since abandoned the lever that made the water pour out. There was no stopping this refrigerator. I could hear its voice in my head, "You people just take, take, take. Is that all I'm here for? When was the last time you dusted behind me? Am I invisible? Well, you know I'm here now! I'm pumping out water and there's nothing you can do about it!" Such a bitter refrigerator. Everything in the refrigerator started looking like this-


Okay, well, maybe not that bad... but that's what it felt like. I screamed, "MRS. LAURA!" and she came in the kitchen and said, "Oh no! We don't use that because it's broken! We've gotta turn off the water!" That darn bitter refrigerator. I could see it laughing underneath it's offwhite marblish plastic coating. We were filling up buckets of water and attempting to dump them into the sink before they overflowed, but I'm afraid it was a losing battle. Then Mrs. Laura went and got a trashcan and took the bag out and stuck it next to the refrigerator. I grabbed a Chick Fil A cup and punched a whole in it so that the water could flow through it and into the trashcan. That worked pretty well, but the water was still pumping. We tried to move the evil refrigerator out, but it was too heavy and the floor was really slippery. So Mrs. Laura tried to turn the water off outside but it wouldn't turn off! Go figure. But luckily, just when all hope had been lost and Mrs. Laura figured she'd have to serve dinner in a scuba suit from now on, hope arrived! Mr. Don raced through the door and after unsuccessfully trying to turn the water off outside, moved the refrigerator and turned the water off from there.

Mr. Don...but with hair.
And so the land was saved and everyone lived happily ever after. Even the refrigerator was happy after the group cleaned behind him. However, he did receive 6 months probation and 75 hours of community service. I think he's going to be doing some cooking with the Stove for that. Anyway, the moral of this story:
1. Be careful of disgruntled refrigerators
2. Fire escape plans are great, but water escape plans are important too. Everyone should have a escape window at the top of their ceiling just in case the water gets that high and you need to get out.
3. Just stick with tea. Or Sprite.

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So, did you ever get a drink of water out of this?

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