"I survived the washing machine explosion of 2006!" (A shoutout to Melinda and the Cables)

We're making T-shirts! Okay, so I arrived safely and securely to Lori's apartment. Granted, I am bagless, but that is okay. Oleg M., Dennis and Lori picked me up and we got in the car and I'm fumbling around for the seatbelt in the back and I look up and Oleg Magdych is just shaking his head with a look that says, "Are you serious? Are you really looking for a seatbelt?" I apologized and thought, "welcome to Ukraine." So Dennis and Oleg dropped us off and we talked for a little while, but then I did something that I haven't done in probably 3 years. Yep, you guessed it. I went to bed before midnight. Not just before midnight, oh no, I went to bed at 10:30. I know some of you are falling out of your chairs at this moment, but don't worry, it probably won't ever happen again.
So, I'm fast asleep. (You know, I've never understood that phrase, "fast asleep." How can you be "fastly asleep?" I mean, you're not even going anywhere. Whatever.) And then I hear Lori yell. You never want to wake up to screams in the morning. It's just not a good way to start the day. So I crawled out of bed and I hear Lori say, "The washing machine exploded!" I'm like, "What?" and I look in the bathroom and the washing machine is gushing water everywhere. Water is filling up the bathroom we didn't really know what to do. So I grabbed some pots and we tried to funnel the water into the bathtub, which really didn't work so well.

Lori just made a good point. She said, "They're going to be a little confused about why the washing machine is in the bathroom." And right she is, Ken. The washing machine is in the bathroom because...well, I don't really know why, but Lori says, "Because that is where it goes." There you have it. That is where it goes.

So, Lori's frantically calling people and finally gets a hold of Sergey and she says, "Serozha, in the bathroom, there's a leak!" Then there was a pause because Sergey didn't know what "leak" meant. So, while Lori's trying to come up with a new word for "leak" Sergey says, "Water?" And Lori says, "YES! Lots of water!" So he said, "I'll be there in 5 minutes." I think it was longer than 5 minutes, but he eventually got there. While we waited, we took our pots and pans an were scooping up water and throwing it into the bathtub. We felt like we were on a sinking ship. You know, like when Jack Sparrow is coming into port at the beginning of the movie and the ship is just slowly sinking? Yeah, that's what it was like. But then our hero Sergey arrived and he runs in and he's looking at the water gushing through the bathroom and then he looks at me and says, "Hey!" So I say "hey." Then, in a moment I will always remember as being totally incapable of doing anything, Sergey turns to the sink and simply turns a little knob and all the water cuts off. Like, that was it. Really. I looked at Sergey and said, "Couldn't you have at least made it look like that was difficult?" But no. So, then Sergey said, "Welcome to Ukraine, Calyn." Shortly after that he left for church and Lori and I stood and contemplated how the heck we couldn't have figured that out on our own. Oh well. It was a lovely way to start the morning. So I said to Lori, "Can we just forget about it for another hour and go back to sleep?" She said, "Sure." So we did. And when we woke up all the water, that had been ankle deep in the bathroom, was completely gone. Where did it go? The world may never know. (The people next door might, though...)
Anyway, that's my story for today. So, you see, Melinda, I really can cause havoc no matter what country I'm in. :0)
Stay tuned next time for, "Oh my gosh! The oven's shooting out fire!"