Saturday, February 11, 2006

Somebody Threw A Brick In My Window!

Quote o' the day: "I just sent a text message to myself about my butt.” – James
“It’s your sister, Kenley.” – me
“I know…” - Kenley
“Well, at least if maybe he’s obsessed with his own butt he’ll leave hers alone.” - David

And now it's time for an interview with Calyn and Jenna.

Jenna (Beanie) : *continuous "ba ba ba-ing" Ba bababa bababa
bababa bababa bababa...
Calyn (Tater) : Ba ba BA ba! Ba ba BA Ba ba
baaaaaaaaa. Ba ba BA ba! Ba ba ba ba ba ba BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Jenna: You don't need a space between the parentheses and the colon.
Calyn: But I like it.
Jenna: Why do you like it?
Calyn: Because...
Jenna: Because it's symmetrical...I know.
Calyn: leaning over on Jenna whining. It's
symmetrical...
Jenna: We're about the coolest people ever.
Calyn: singing. SomeBODY threw a BRICK in my
WINdow!
Jenna: It's "Somebody threw a brick in my vision."
Calyn: Well, I was going to say that, but it just didn't sound right
because people throw bricks in people's windows.
Jenna: But it is right.
Calyn: See, I should just go with my gut instinct.
Jenna: Yeah, but don't use that as a general rule...
Calyn: So have you seen "Brokeback to the Future" yet?
Jenna: No, just the previews.
Calyn: That one's gonna be a blockbuster hit, I'm telling you.
Jenna: Yeah, I just hope I don't get carded again since it's R-rated
and all. Gosh, people. I am 18.
Calyn: Yeah, but you don't really look it.
Jenna: Thanks. The kids at work thought I was like, 22.
But what do they know? They're 4th graders. Everyone my own age
things I'm 15.
Calyn: Wait, so are they 15 or are they your own age?
Jenna: Well, I guess technically they're older than me so they
wouldn't be 15. But I'm not 15 either. Do I really look 15?
Please say no. I might cry.
Calyn: You're gonna really enjoy it when you're 45.
Jenna: That's a long way away and if I still look 15 when I'm 45
that's gonna be really weird.
Calyn: Yeah, but by then they'll have face transplants for like, $30,
or I guess with inflation at the rate it is, it'll be about $250, but it will
still be less than a gallon of gas so you can just go get yourself another
face.
Jenna: No, you just buy yourself a clone like on "The Island."
Oooh, sorry if you haven't seen that yet. They're not...clones. But
they'll be really expensive and teachers don't make a lot of money. Plus,
that's really creepy.
Calyn: Yeah, I agree. Being a teacher is really
creepy.
Jenna: Okay, Calyn, when your kids need an education don't send them
to me.
Calyn: That's funny. Me with kids. Hahahhahahaha.
Jenna: Stop rubbing your face.
Calyn: It's because of that cedar blanket.
Jenna: I didn't know you could make blankets out of cedar.
Calyn: No, it was in a cedar chest.
Jenna: Well, you didn't tell me that. I thought you meant,
like, a blanket filled with cedar chips. That's what I was picturing in my
head. I thought that was kind of weird, but *snort!*
Calyn: You just snorted!
Jenna: Owwwww, that kinda hurt!
Calyn: See, so apparently I'm allergic to cedar because Kenley brings
out this blanket because Lerah was cold and he sticks it on Lerah and as soon as
he does I start gagging and coughing and my lungs started closing in...
Jenna: Well, at least it wasn't as bad as my eyes swelling shut when
we went to that house with 27 cats and 5 dogs or whatever.
Calyn: Yeah, that was bad. But I started yelling to Lerah, "Put
that thing back where it came from or so help me, so help me! So help me,
so help, etc."
Jenna: You didn't really say "etc." did you?
Calyn: No, I was typing the abridged version. So I'm screaming
for Lerah to get that thing out of my face but she's like, laying on top of me
and I couldn't move and so she's like, "No, I'm cold." And I'm like, "Oh
my gosh! I can't breathe!" My face was turning all red and I was
itching and so I shoved Lerah off and ran out the front door and it was like -50
degrees outside...
Jenna: You know, you shouldn't joke around with things like that
because there are probably people all over the world saying "You don't know the
meaning of the word cold you Florida punk."
Calyn: Yeah, I talk to her daily... But anyway, my life flashed
before my eyes and I'm never getting near cedar again. You know that movie
"The Cedar House Rules?" Yeah, I'm never going to see that.
Jenna: You mean "The Cider House Rules?"
Calyn: Shtoever. Same thing. You say "cedar" I
say "cider."
Jenna: But they mean completely different things.
Calyn: Nooo, because cider comes from trees and cedars are
trees.
Jenna: Cider doesn't come from trees, you nerd!
Calyn: Yeah it does! It comes from apples.
Jenna: But apples aren't trees.
Calyn: No, but they grow on trees. Haven't you ever read Johnny
Appleseed?
Jenna: I'm related to Johnny Appleseed!
Calyn: There's a real Johnny Appleseed?
Jenna: I guess so. That's what my parents always told me.
Calyn: Huh. I thought it was like some kinda Paul Bunyon
thing.
Jenna: Wait, which one is he? Is he the one with the blue ox
named Babe?
Calyn: Yeah.
Jenna: I always get him mixed up with Davey Crocker.
Calyn: Crockett.
Jenna: Whatever. You say "Crockett" I say "Crocker."
Calyn: singing. "Davey, Davey Crockett! King of the wild
frontier!"

Jenna: Did you ever have one of those coonskin hat things that was
from Cracker Barrell, 'cause we did. But it always smelled really bad and
I thought it was a real dead raccoon...
Calyn: As opposed to a real live raccoon?
Jenna: ...yeah, I think it was just the leather that smelled real
bad.
Calyn: No, at that ponit I was a little animal shelter volunteer
person and didn't believe in killing raccoons.
Jenna: Yeah, I remember when I first met you and you had all those
pictures of collies that you drew up on your ceiling. And they were
really...cool. Hahahhahahaha.
Calyn: Don't laugh at me. I worked on the shading on that upper
lip for about 3 hours...Wait, do collies even have lips?
Jenna: You tell me, Miss Collie-expert. All your typos have
been having "j"s in them. You seem to be favoring it. I'm pretty
partial to the "j" myself.
Calyn: Yeah, but those days are long gone.
Jenna: Oh, you think it's okay to kill a raccoon now?
Calyn: Hey, I helped kill armadillos. I'm a wild woman.
Jenna: Trent was chasing them down with nets.
Calyn: Yeah, that was the best night ever. I'm pretty
tired. Are you?
Jenna: Yeah.
Calyn: We should, like, go to bed or something.
Jenna: But you don't sleep, remember? It's not 2:00 yet.
Calyn: singing "It's two o'clock somewhere!"
Jenna: Oh my...

3 comments:

Jenshka said...

You need to not avoid trivial questions and make us die laughing over you "doing" your eyebrows at 2:30 in the morning.

Unknown said...

Great stuff! You know how i am easily amused :-)

Anonymous said...

Actually, appleseeds are not poisonous, they just have nicotine in them. Johnny Appleseed was John Chapman. He roamed around planting apple orchards. Here's his story:

http://www.millville.org/Workshops_f/Dich_FOLKLORE/WACKED/story.html