Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Just to Clarify...

Okay, so I feel that I must elaborate on the whole TCC self-portrait thing... for Lauren's sake at least.
Well, you see, 2 years ago I took "Beginning Painting" at Tallahassee Community College. I hadn't ever painted before, but I used to watch the Happy Painter all the time on PBS (Bob Ross one of my heroes. "We'll just put a happy little tree here...")

so I really wanted to learn to paint. I thought it would be relaxing. A nice thing to do with free time. Boy, was I ever wrong. That was the most stressful, difficult class I took at TCC. (Which isn't saying a whole lot, but it still gets the title.) Almost everyone else in the BEGINNING painting class had painted for forever and were art majors. Go figure. We had to paint still-lifes (lifes, or lives?) of apples and random geometric shapes and get the shadows right and then we had to "copy" a real painting and I did this Georgia O'Keefe picture of this cross and I almost cried during every class, and then we had to go to Lake Ella and paint a landscape and there were ducks everywhere and the wind kept blowing my papers away and my hair kept getting in the paint and my painting turned out horrible. You can't even tell it's Lake Ella. (Except maybe cause of the fountain.) But that was not the worst of it. Then came the time to do the self-portrait. Who the heck wants to see my face enlarged and stuck on a 17 X 24 canvas anyway? Who thought that was a good idea? Well, I worked and worked and worked at that stupid thing and I despised it by the end. It's probably not a good thing to despise your face, but, whatever.
Near the end of the semester I had to go to the Enrollment Services building to try to figure out dual-enrollment stuff, and I picked up my self-portrait from art class. (I think I got an A-. I know she just felt sorry for me, though. ) Well, I sorta accidentally left the painting in the enrollment services building and forgot about it. About 3 weeks later, I realized I'd left it there, but I certainly didn't care. Believe me, I was glad to see that thing go. No use sitting around my house haunting me. 'Cause I know my mom would have tried to stick it up somewhere. Moms love to do things like that. So I said goodbye to the painting and proceeded never to think about it again... until next semester came around. I walked into enrollment services and poof! there it was displayed on top of a bookcase. I was like, "um, okay..." but I didn't want to ask for it, A) because that's just retarded, B) because the people in enrollment services aren't usually very nice and C) because I didn't want it anyway. I thought for sure they'd take it down soon, but, no. Fall semester comes. Still there. Spring semester and graduation. Still there. And apparently, when Christina went to register this semester- still there. I guess I've left my mark at TCC. A hideous picture of my face. What a legacy.
So to respond to your comment, Lauren, "I didn't know you were a painter" the answer is most definitely "I'm not." If there's one thing I learned from ART2000 it's that I am not a painter. I'm sure glad Bob Ross was happy because I'd rather try to get gum out of my hair than pick up another paint brush.
So for those of you privileged people who get to go to TCC this fall, look for me in the enrollment services building. Or don't - and save yourself the heartache. Arrivederci!

8 comments:

Jenshka said...

Oh my gosh, Calyn. I laughed so freakin' hard at that post. I love the way you tell stories. It's just so funny. Okay, just thought I'd let you know that. I love you!

Calyn said...

Why are you still awake? :0)

Todd G Sapp said...

somebody please take a photo and post the self-potrait. I must see it.

TX said...

Calyn makes horrible pelmenee!!!
Don't eat them! NEVER!

Anonymous said...

Want more pictures of this Ian fellow in your last post...
Jesse

Calyn said...

What, Anton? You've never even tried my pelmeni! Fine, I just won't make you any. :0) And Jesse, Ian's photos started melting my camera, so I had to stop taking them.

TX said...

I've just seen the photos of pelmenee!!!
They were looking horrible! abnormal! :-) Normal pelmenee look different. Calyn you better bye russian (or Ukrainian) cook-book! :-)
bye

James Morrow, Secretary General of United Nations said...

Calyn you slay me! That is liek the funniest bunch of junk i have ever read. just kidding, but really it was so funny, but come on now, not that funny, but really, ha just kidding with ya, but really i'm still laughing, huh! only joking, but for real, that was great.
ok i'm done