Of Rice and Zen

Today I woke up and went to go help Shandra at Northwoods, which was bittersweet, because I love Shandra and I will miss her lots and lots. But, she took me to my favorite restaurant, Taco Bell, and I ate a mexi-melt and it was awesome. Lori and Diane met us there and Lori was getting stalked by the Wal-Mart photo guy, so she was a little bit disturbed when she came in. He was weird. She almost used her secret ninja moves on him, but she felt sorry for him and so she spared his life.
Then after that, what did I do after that? Oh, then I went home and packed some more and I put on Pirates of the Caribbean (again) because that is one of my favorite movies and I want to be just like Jack Sparrow when I grow up. (Except, I don't want to steal things because I don't think I'd be able to live with myself, so I'd probably have to sell pizzas or Amway on the side to be able to keep up my expensive hobby of being a pirate.) I need a cool name, though. Anybody got any ideas? Me and Lori and Lyndsey went to St. Andrew's State Park in Panama City yesterday and we got to go on a Pirate Cruise with Lori's elementary school that she works at and it was so much fun. Only, those pirates had dumb names. They were trying to go for cool alliteration, but it just wasn't working. Cutthroat Christy and Rotten Rob and some other stupid ones that I can't remember because I tried to block them out. And their costumes were definitely not as cool as me, Lori and Lerah's. I decided that one day I should work on a pirate ship. Of course, that's after I take over the world and eliminate garlic bread and speed limits and change all the stop signs to yield signs and make a magazine and put Pauls on my list of most awesome people. Then we went to the beach and there were some way cool waves. Probably the biggest waves I've gotten to play in. We'd jump into them and body surf and they'd flip you over and drag you halfway back to shore. It was so great. I got really sunburned. Surprise, surprise. I think somewhere there's an alien sitting up in space holding a magnifying glass over me and watching me burn. That has to be it because I put sunscreen on multiple times and I still get fried. Like those aliens at the end of Men in Black that are playing marbles with planets. Maybe it's like that. Speaking of Men in Black, Will Smith (probably the coolest Hollywood person ever) was on Jay Leno tonight and I love Will Smith. He's so awesome. If I can't be like Jack Sparrow I want to be like Will Smith. But I can't rap or dance or act and I'm not really buff so it might be kinda difficult. Alright, moving on.
So, I got to talk to Todd and Jenshka and Pauls and someone else...who was that? I can't remember. Sorry person I talked to. I got to talk to them and they were touring Washington, D.C. and Jenshka took a picture of her and the phone (the phone representing me) in front of the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument, so now I can say I've been there. I want to go to Washington D.C. so bad. If I could go anywhere in the U.S. it would be there. If they had a SeaWorld, it would be perfect. At least they have Taco Bell.
So after I got to talk to my friends I gathered up my Zen garden and took it to Jenna's house because Jenna's taking care of it for me while I'm gone.



I decorated it all nice and wrote "I love Jenshka" in the sand and put all the rocks in a balanced manner so that it would be zenish. I'm not sure if zenish is a word, but I'm sure it means something in Japanese. Unlike this picture, I have 5 rocks and two seashells and two rakes and my zen garden is bigger. For those of you who have never played with a zen garden. No, excuse me, worked in a Zen garden (I don't think you play with them) they are like the coolest things ever. I saw one in the Discovery Channel store years ago and I told my mom I wanted one for Christmas having never worked on one, and she got me one a couple of years ago and man, those things are relaxing. I mean, you start raking the sand and creating all sorts of little designs and stuff, and, it just, starts...putting....you to ...sleep......... zzzzzzzz.
I love mine. But Jenna asked if she could take care of it for me, so I left a brief instruction list with Brandon (who also very much enjoys Zen Gardens). It simply listed all things you need to do to properly care for my zen.
First, you must never water it. It doesn't like to get dirty and putting water in it makes it all muddy. Plus, the rocks and sand are perfectly happy without water.
Second, you must rotate the rocks and rearange them periodically to keep them happy. The rocks get tense and stiff if you leave them in one spot too long. Rotate them on their sides and put them in different places in the garden. They like change.
Third, the brown rock loves to be by the big seashell. However, never put the two seashells together because they don't get along at all. The little seashell called the big seashell's momma a conch or something and he never really got over it.
Fourth, if it starts looking unhealthy, it loves sunshine and Lord of the Rings music. Especially the elf songs.
Fifth, the garden must always be balanced and thus fulfill the law of Zen.
I left my emegency email number: calyn@radooga.net and if I could not be reached there, I told Jenna to call Todd, because he likes symmetry and would probably be able to fix it. I have full confidence in Jenna, though. I know my garden will be perfectly fine until I get back.
After dropping the garden off and saying goodbye to some of my favorite people, the Myricks, (and indubitably messing up their calendar) Lori and I drug our suitcases to Publix, where we weighed them on the scale being quite sure they were over 70 pounds, but it turns out mine was only 59. I immediately began thinking of all the other things I could take with my eleven pound bonus and I think more green beans and jello are necessary.
We then went to Kenley's house where Shannon, Gaby, Diane, Lerah and Linda were (followed by a brief tarriance from Katie) were watching my *cough* favorite movie, Phantom of the Opera, not! I think I may be the only one of my friends who really, really didn't like that movie. I just thought it was soooo boring. Regardless, it was a lot of fun making fun of it. There's a part in the masquerade party where that guy that owns the operahouse is wearing like, goat horn things and I was like, "Those are awesome!" I want some of those. Lerah did too. So I went in the kitchen and got aluminum foil and make goat horns (you know, the kind that curve around) out of it. THey were so cool.



Like these.
Anyway, Gaby and Diane cooked dinner, watermelon chicken (weird name, really good) and rice. They're such great cooks.
Well, it's like, 1:00, so I'm gonna go to bed now. I've written for entirely too long. If I don't write until I get to Ukraine, da svidaniya, and I will talk to y'all from there. I'll miss you guys! Arrivederci!