*Cool music playing. Da da duh... This is: Lifestyles of the Rich and Allergenic. I'm your host, Calyn Reber joined tonight (or this morning, rather) by Miss Jenshka Myriskaya. Let's begin.*
Calyn: So, Jenna, how did you hear about Ukrainian food night?
Jenna: Well, word on the street was, um, I don't know, I'm not funny.
Calyn: It's okay, you've got puffy eyes. That's pretty darn funny.
Jenna: Shut up. THis isn't as easy as it sounds when you've read these interviews with Jake and stuff. I mean, Jake's a lot funnier than I am. Plus, we're not in Ukraine. It's way cooler to picture you and Jake sitting in the Am. office doing in this than to picture you and me...
Calyn: No one'd want a picture of you right now, Jenna. Your eyes would take up the whole freaking picture.
Jenna: cough/sneeze/lung-destroying thing. Ow, my eyes hurt. Right, so, where was I?
Calyn: Ukrainian food night.
Jenna: Yes. Ukrainian food night.
CAlyn: Did you find a yozhek?
Jenna: Did I find a yozhek? No. Except for the one that Christian won at the 50 cent claw machine at walmart. It's green.
Calyn: I really want that. (Hey, Carli, "I wont that"...)
Jenna: yeah, me too. I also wanted that giraffe, you don't have to type this, but, it was in the corner of the machine at walmart and I really wanted it, but there was no way to get it.
Calyn: So, have you noticed anything new about our dishwasher?
Jenna: Why, in fact, yes I have. Calyn, in all her genius finally decided to replace the one, well, you tell it better than I do. Go ahead.
Calyn: Well, I don't like to brag or anything, but my smartness meter just went up, like, ten points.
Jenna: I would give you twenty.
Calyn: Thank you. Well, you see, my dishwasher has a lot of buttons on it, but we only use one of those buttons. NORMAL WASH. That's it. No, "slightly hot, but for delicate items wash",
Jenna: or no, "it will bust the dried up macaroni off your grandma's finest china wash"
Calyn: Yes, I'll log that away. Anyway, who really needs any other buttons except "NORMAL WASH"? But, about 2 years ago, our "NORMAL WASH" button fell off, leaving a pokey-out thingy that would cut your finger when you tried to push it. I dreaded pressing that button. But then, the other day, I thought to myself, "Hey, why not steal one of the buttons off one of the other buttons and stick it onto NORMAL WASH"? So, I did. And then I thought to myself, "I'm a genius." So now, CANCEL DRAIN is without a button.
Jenna: Who uses that?
Calyn: Someone with way too much free time.
Calyn: Wow, that's an awesome picture.
Jenna: Thank you, it only took me like, 6 minutes playing around with your camera to figure it out.
Calyn: Notice NORMAL WASH. Cancel Drain's pokey-out thingy.
Well, Jenna's about to keel over because her throat's closing up cause of her allergies. We'd better wrap this up.
Ooh, do you know the origin of the phrase to "keel over"?
Jenna: Why, no, I dont. Why don't you enlighten me?
Calyn: Okay, since you asked. Well, back in the days of the British Navy, soldiers were not treated very well. Pay was terrible, conditions were awful (pause for Michael W. Smith moment... "As we live, moving side by side, may we learn to give, learn to sacrifice..." Okay, we're good now.) and no one wanted to be in the British Navy. So, they used to sail into ports and the sailors would run away, and because ships had to have a quota of crew members, they would go to bars and wait until after curfew and take guys and take them on the boats and then sail out with them in the morning. Not a very good way to join the navy. Well, once those guys were on the boats, there was nothing they could do to get off until they landed in like, Timbuktu or whatever, and a lot of times those guys weren't very good at being sailors.
Jenna: can we get to the point, cause my eyes are kinda closing. Involuntarily, of course.
Calyn: Yes. Okay, point. Guys were punished for breaking the rules. Like, if you were late, they'd beat you and if you insulted a captain or something, they'd just hang you. Right there on the boat. But, the worst punishment of all, if you did something really bad, was they'd tie you to a rope that ran under the boat (under the keel) and drown you by pulling the rope from the back therefore pulling you under the boat. But, because those big boats had been in the water for so long, they had barnicles and stuff all growing on the bottom. So you'd die from getting cut up by barnacles before you drowned. Not very nice. So, that is where the phrase "to keel over" comes from.
Jenna: Thanks, that was beautiful.
Calyn: No, actually probably not. But, thankfully, the British navy is much nicer to their volunteers now.
Jenna: That's so gross.
Calyn: Yes. All this to say, Ukrainian food night was awesome.
Jenna: That's about it.
*This has been "Lifestyles of the Rich and Allergenic". For a transcript, please visit our website at www.karosheeyoshek.blogspot.com. Goodnight everyone. Copyright XXMCCLQRS12&*
Arrivederci!
7 comments:
I had fun talking on the phone with you during the Ukrainian food party. I wish I was there...I miss you! And as far as the pelmini goes...I wont that!
Yep, still funny at 1:14 in the afternoon. That's just how good we are, Calyn.
you are too funny :)
We're going canoeing Tuesday, you should come
Hey Calyn!
It's me again. :-)
Thanks for comments. It's a holiday to me to hear from you something. "Miy Chas"- pity:i wasn't there. Everyone tell me - it's awesome fast: Delirius- the best.Yesterday was depature of L'viv team. and today was the depature of Donetsk team. Miss them. And You. I miss you all funkie american chickens.
bye. :-)
p.s. Calyn! I'm gonna put a l'il video on my blog. Can i use your photos in it???
pleeeeeeeez... :-)
Hey Anton! This is Calyn, I just didn't feel like logging out of Jenna's name. Of course you can use my pictures. Have fun!
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