"Good afternoon, this is Shandra. How may I help you?"

Those 10 little words. 10 little words that I heard nearly every week for 6 years. At 5:21 p.m. on August 19, 2005, I heard those words for the last time. (Or at least until I get Shandra's work number in West Virginia.) Yes, people. Shandra Beaver's last day at Northwoods was today. She's moving to West Virginia. Shandra, I love you so much! You were the best "boss" ever and if gas wasn't so expensive then I'd just keep working for you in West Virginia. (See, this is where my Delorean would come in handy...)

Okay, so, did you know?

West Virginia has the world's largest sycamore tree. (Zacheaus would have been thrilled.)
The first federal prison exclusively for women in the United States was opened in 1926 in West Virginia. (um, okay...)
Nearly 75% of West Virginia is covered by forests. (That's beautiful.)
According to the crime index for 1997, West Virginia had the lowest crime rate in the country. (this fact thing needs to be updated...)
Outdoor advertising had its origin in Wheeling in 1908 when the Block Brothers Tobacco Company painted bridges and barns with the wording: "Treat Yourself to the Best, Chew Mail Pouch." (Wow, someone put a lot of time and effort into that one. That really doesn't want to make me go buy Tobacco, but maybe things were different back then.)

And one more that I know on my own- West Virginia has the world's largest teapot. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that's right, from my Dad's hometown of Chester (pop. 2,500) comes the world's largest teapot. I even have a T-shirt of it.



Okay, but more about Shandra. Here are just a few of the reasons I love her:

• She has gorgeous hair, and she can do that pretty, twisty, no-effort bun thingy
• Her name is Shandra and her husband's name is Sean. That's like the coolest thing ever.
• She has cool music playing on her computer
• She gives GREAT advice
• She loves her husband so much and that is so awesome.
• She taught me how to use the copy machine, the paper folder, the ris(z?)ograph, the funky printer and the giant paper cutter
• She has kept Northwoods going for 6 years
• She has a magic stapler (unlike mine, uh-hum, I mean, Todd's)
• She keeps goodies in her secret cabinet
• She gave me an envelope-licky bottle with my name on it, which I will treasure forever.
• She has the cutest dog ever. (except for Bailey, of course. )
• She can fix anything
• She took me to lunch before I went to Ukraine
• She remembers everything
• She loves Taco Bell
• She can do more in one day than anyone else could do in three
• She laughs at all my stupid jokes
• She can use all the complicated computer programs that Northwoods has
• She lets me "borrow" diet cokes
• She is wonderful, and sweet, and devoted, and dedicated, and helpful, and encouraging, and beautiful all rolled into one.

I love you Shandra and I will miss you soooo much! Me and Mrs. Karen will be so bored without you. But, I'm so excited for you! You get to start a new adventure! In West Virginia! I know you will love West Virginia because it is absolutely beautiful. As John Denver says:

Almost heaven, West Virginia
Blue Ridge Mountains
Shenandoah River -
Life is old there
Older than the trees
Younger than the mountains
Growin like a breeze

Country Roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West Virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

All my memories gathered round her
Miners lady, stranger to blue water
Dark and dusty, painted on the sky
Misty taste of moonshine
Teardrops in my eye

Country Roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West Virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

I hear her voice
In the mornin hour she calls me
The radio reminds me of my home far away
And drivin down the road I get a feelin
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday

Country Roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West Virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

And so, to you, Shandra- Arrivederci!