And Now it's Time for the 12:43 News on channel 6 1/2

Well, since most of my blogging friends are far, far away, biking down (or up, I don't remember which) the C&O Canal, I haven't been too inspired to blog, but since my mom says she only knows what I'm doing when she reads my blog, I suppose I'll write a few lines. Let's see what's interesting in the news today.
The guy who ratted to the Washington Post about Nixon's Watergate scandal was identified today. On the radio I heard one of the news guys say, "We all remember "Deep Throat"..." But I was thinking, since that was like, 35 years ago, no one under the age of 45 probably remembers it all that well. Ah, well, what do people under 45 know anyway, right?
Paris Hilton announced she's engaged to some guy named...Paris, of all things. At least she's marrying him for love. Oh, wait. Paris Latsis is a Greek shipping heir whose family Forbes Magazine listed as the 54th richest family in the world with assets valued at 7.5 Billion dollars. Scratch that one. Although, what's a couple billion to Paris Hilton?
A New Jersey aquarium has started a Swimming With Sharks program. Adventurous visitors grab a snorkel and jump into a tank of sharks, some weighing 700 pounds, complete with a couple thousand teeth and enough jaw power to eat a small submarine. (not the sandwich.) The most amazing part is... People are stupid enough to pay to do this. That's right. In other countries this would be classified as cruel and unusual punishment. But not in America. Here we gladly throw money at those who would have us risk our lives to jump into a swarming pool of death filled with carnivorous, blood-thirsty fish. But, hey, why not? How long do people really live in New Jersey anyway?
Apparently it's pick on Orlando Bloom week in Hollywood. Sylvester Stallone, star of Rocky, Rocky II, Rocky III, Rocky IV, and wait, there's something else. Oh yeah, Rocky V, was quoted as saying, "Today's idea of an action hero is Orlando Bloom. Orlando Bloom? Give me a break." I'm sure Mr. Bloom is shaking in his boots (Boots made at least 100 years ago, but some have estimated to date back to the ages of ancient Greece and even Middle Earth). As we all know, "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy "Troy" and "Pirates of the Caribbean" have done terribly at the box office and aren't even worthy to be mentioned next to Rambo 12. Mr. Stallone then commented, "I'm still in my prime and I look forward to showing fans the real action hero again." Heaven help us. Rocky VI? Todd will be thrilled. Mr. Stallone then had to take a moment to re-adjust his dentures and pop his hip back into place.
Hayden Christensen, who is obviously prejudice against Pirates,Trojans, Catholics and Elves as well,(though he apparently loves Keebler cookies) said, "A film is a product and as an actor you can only sell it if you sell yourself. You don't get to sit at the table before you're ready to give away your integrity. Maybe it works for Orlando Bloom. It doesn't work for me." Gee, Hayden, what did Mr. Bloom ever do to you? Maybe he's just upset because James Earl Jones and that kid from the Sixth Sense will probably be remembered as being Darth Vader before he will. His name is much too long. And besides that, George Lucas, though he's trying, won't be able to come up with another sequel to Star Wars, and every other director knows Mr. Christensen can't act worth anything. (Sorry to all you star wars fans. You have to admit, the acting is terrible. The only ones who are worse than Anakin are Natalie Portman, followed closely by Jar-Jar Binks and Yoda, and oh, nevermind. They're all bad.)
The most exciting piece of news is that I leave for Ukraine in 4 short days. Oh and I found my Kenny Chesney CD. That's exciting. I've started packing and, although I'm sure I'll forget something incredibly important, I feel as though I've remembered the necessities:
Batteries
Toilet Paper
Cheese-Itz
Well, Leah is fast asleep in my room and I oughta go to bed because I have a dentist appointment in the morning. I hate the dentist. Arrivederci!