Why My Mom Is The Best Mom In the Whole World

So on the video that those of you who go to northwoods will see tomorrow, I hardly did my mom justice. Video cameras frighten me, and I'm afraid they bring out the worst side of myself. I mumble, stumble and can't think straight. (I don't want to hear any smart comments that I'm always like that or I will pummel you.) So here are the thoughts that escaped me at the time of Mr. Jim's filming:

*She still speaks spanish to me despite the fact that I really don't remember it anymore. Especially when she starts spouting off her "Shut your mouth before I shut it for you cuz you have no brains in your head and you don't know anything" speech that she loves to jump into when she's frustrated with someone. It's awesome.
*She still calls pizza places for me because I hate talking on the phone. (She calls other places too, but that one comes up a lot.)
*She's soo funny.
*She's sarcastic (I love it.)
*She washes Bailey. (If she waited until I did it he'd look like the creature from the black lagoon right now.) (and since she takes care of bailey, that makes up for killing my fish. Yes, I still remember.)
*she's always buying me random fun things and hiding them in my room and my purse. (Except E.T. He was NOT fun.)
*She's friends with all my friends.
*We like the same music. (because we're awesome!)
*She knows where she was and how old she was when every cool song in the 70s and 80s came out. (although she can't remember what she had for breakfast... but that's okay.)
*She has no short term memory (which means I can say that she said (or didn't say) anything and she won't remember. Oh the things I could get away with. "But mom, you told me I could paint my room neon green!) just kidding mom, you know I don't do that...or do you?...
*She re-did my room while I was in Ukraine and it's the bestest room ever.
*She actually missed me while I was there and wrote me emails every single day. (I got twice as many emails from her as everyone else combined. She's the only thing that kept me from crying some days. Well, that and Oleg making fun of Daniel's inferiority complex.)
*She makes the best stuffed bell peppers in the world
*She keeps our house from falling apart. (and our cars, and our yard...)
*She's the EBay master. you know the song, mom, sing along: (to the tune of I want it that way)

A used ... pink bathrobe
A rare ... mint snowglobe
A Smurf ... TV tray
What I bought on eBay

My house ... is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay

Tell me why (I need another pet rock?)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock?)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee?)
They had it on eBay

I'll buy ... your knick-knack
Just check ... my feedback
"A++!" they all say
They love me on eBay

Gonna buy (a slightly-damaged golf bag)
Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tags)
(From some guy) I've never met in Norway
Found him on eBay

I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got Paypal or Visa,
what ever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough!

*She likes Crystal River. Mmmm, yum.
*She feeds all of my friends when they're hungry. (Jesse, Jenna, Sarah, Bekah, Lori, James...)
*She adopted Lori
*She tells it like it is
*She doesn't put up with crap
*She tells me when she thinks guys are hot (although I do not always agree... she has pretty good taste, though. :0)
*Beauty and the Beast is her favorite movie. (Followed by Lord of the Rings, but that might be because of a certain someone...)
*I can tell her anything.
*She knows how to fix everything. (especially when she has "the tool", right, jenna?)
*She discovered "the tool"
*She's really smart.
*She's probably the most generous person I know.
*We sing songs together in the car
*She's so cool and awesome and great and special and she's the best mom EVER!
I love you mom!