I forgot the Alamo

I almost fell asleep in class today as my geography teacher bombinated on about how many continents there were and the intricacies of plate tectonics. My favorite thing she said today was, "...You know, like in the Cold War when the United States and the USSR were kinda, like, opposed..." (CCCP, Jenshka!) Oy vey.
I think it's going to rain. But, for once, I have come prepared and brought an umbrella. That never happens! Of course, now that I have an umbrella safely tucked away in my purse the chance of rain goes down considerably. (The chance of rain is proportional to the chance of one having an umbrella. Everyone knows this.) It goes like this. Person A brings an umbrella to school. While the rain chance that day is 80%, the rain will stop for the 20% of the time during the day that person A is outside. If person A walks to class from 11:00-11:15, it will rain from 10:30-11:00, stop from 11:00-11:15 and then pick back up as soon as person A walks in the door of his or her building. Likewise, if person A sees that the chance of rain is a mere 10% and neglects to bring his or her bulky umbrella, it will stay dry up until the moment that person A gets out of his or her car in the parking lot. Then a deluge will sweep him or her through campus.
I think that I would make a good candidate for the witness protection program. When I'm at school, I'm constantly seeing people that I recognize from elementary and high school but every time i do the whole, "I'm not gonna say 'hi' because that would be kinda weird, but I'm gonna do the whole 'make eye-contact' thing and if that goes well then I'll say something" deal everybody acts like I'm really strange. They just don't remember me. Like, last night. I see this guy that I went to elementary school with (we were in the same class in 5th grade) and we went to Leon together. Granted, we weren't tight or anything, but I know his first and last name and usually if you can remember someone's last name they should at least recognize you, right? So I see him in the hallway and I think I actually bypassed the whole "I'm not gonna say 'hi' because that would be kinda weird" thing and said "hello." I got a look like I was some kind of idiot and he had no idea who I was. I'm just gonna stop. Maybe if I would have done something memorable in school, like, gotten malaria or something people would remember me. There was this girl in 6th grade named Abby Jennings whose leg constantly shaked. Like, all the time. Everybody remembered her. "She's that girl who's leg shakes." Of course, that's not something that I would really long to be remembered for, but hey, at least it's a conversation starter. Maybe then that guy last night would have been like, "Hey, you're that girl who always got out of 24-minute runs in P.E. 'cause your leg was always spasmming." At least it would have been something. But at least now I know that if I get put on a death list and I have to enter the witness protection program I will be perfectly safe. "Mr. Celophane should have been my name..." huh, Lori? Arrivederci.