Fun things to do at Wal-Mart

Me, Alicia and Melinda were talking about how there's nothing to do in this town. Especially when it's raining, so I found some fun things to do at everybody's (except Christina's) favorite store... Wal-Mart!

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
7. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
8. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
9. Play with the automatic doors.
10. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
11. Repeat Number 7 in the jewelry department.
12. Try putting different pairs of women's underwear on your head and walk around the store casually.
13. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
14. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
15. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
16. Put M&M's on layaway.
17. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
18. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
19. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
20. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
21. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
22. TP as much of the store as possible.
23. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
24. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
25. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" (Except that no one ever asks you if you want help)
26. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
27. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
28. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. (I LOVE X-men!)
29. Take bets on the battle described above. (X-men, duh!)
30. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)
31. Play "Tag" with the employees. Try and get as many as possible into the game. Walk out of the store.
32. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
33. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."
35. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
36. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
38. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
39. Two words: "Marco Polo."
40. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.
41. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
42. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels. 43. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing the clothes are talking to them.
44. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
45. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
46. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
47. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
48. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."
49. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
50. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
51. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
52. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
53. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
55. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
56. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
57. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
58. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
59. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
60. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
61. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
62. Try on every purse at the same time ( do the same w/ hats, scarves, belts )
63. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
64. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
65. Act like you are having a conversation with someone on the display phones.
66. Grab A Pillow from the Bedding department and lay in one of the aisles, when people try to get through say "you people just don't understand I have to get up at 2 am, do you, now if you don't mind, leave me alone" and refuse to move.
67. Go to the little kids houses and buildings and get on your knees and beg saying "oh please let me in, please let me in I promise I won't run away, I'll be a good little kid "
68. Grab a microphone from the electronics, and go to the cd's, start dancing and singing into the mic.
69. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"


Oh, and happy Sea-grass Awareness Day! I'm not kidding, it's a real holiday. There was a flyer about it on the outside of my class at FSU. We tried to get our teacher, Mike, to let us out of class for this very special occasion, but he didn't acquiesce to our request and we didn't get out of our quiz. Oh well. Make sure to thank your favorite Seagrass today. Arrivederci!